i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We left an ass print on the piano.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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