ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
