what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
