Sry I called you an 8
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
