Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
