don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
