rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
