you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
