i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
