a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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