you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
