i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
