So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
