Grow some girl-balls and come out already
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
