hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
