So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
