So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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