mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
