Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
