he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
