On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
