I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
