I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you win again, gameday.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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