did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
