I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
