...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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