my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
