Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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