sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Randomize
