just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
