oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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