I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
