can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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