sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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