I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
