It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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