so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
