He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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