we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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