So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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