GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
