On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
