is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
