i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
