Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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