So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
