I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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