): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
