I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wanna go halves on a baby?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
