You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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