my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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