apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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